Things are never easy.

A week ago yesterday, our dear friend Bryan passed away. His cancer had come back for the third time, and the doctors just couldn't do anything more for him. They gave him 4-6 weeks, and he made it to almost 4 weeks. He died at home with his family, which is good. He was only 21 years old. His viewing was Sunday, and his funeral was Monday. It's been a rough weekend. Thankfully, my parents were able to take Mischa, so I could just focus on what was going on. Not that I was particularly needed, Dusty tended to push me away and lean more on his friends (our friends), so I was left to my own grieving devices. I finally got him to spend time with me Monday night instead of going to be with his friends again. I'm not trying to keep him from being with friends, but Bryan was my friend too and it was like everyone had forgotten that. Dusty was gone from about 7pm Friday evening until 3 am, then left again Sunday evening and didn't get home until sometime after 1am. Then left almost first thing in the morning to meet his friends before the funeral. I had to hitch a ride with his mom, and didn't get much attention from him until after the funeral was over. I understand that he was a pallbearer, and they had been friends for quite a few years, but since Dusty and I have been married he's really been pushing that his friends are my friends, and they really have become my friends, then once one of them goes through something traumatic or dies, they're his friends again and what I'm feeling doesn't matter until he's gone through his dealing process.

Anyway, that's my verbal spew for the day. It's going to be a hard time for a while. We're all going to miss him. His birthday is August 3rd, and I'm pretty sure there's going to be something going on, which is going to be hard because then my Uncle Ronnie's birthday is August 6th and I'm sure there's going to be some sort of get-together for that too. So we're going to have to choose, and I'm sure it's going to be Bryan's. Which is fine, but I just realized Sunday how much I'm still missing my uncle.

One of our friends updated his status Monday, and what he said was so true: "Sometimes the greatest memories cause us the deepest pain." So very true.