Just 5 more days!

We have our anatomy ultrasound Friday morning, and I'm pretty sure this is going to be the longest week of my life so far. Then, even after we find out, we can't tell anyone! We'll be telling Dusty's family that night, then we have to wait until Sunday to tell my family, so Saturday will be torture as well! Maybe I'll spend it washing baby clothes...

Good news on my SIL, she got to go home from the hospital Thursday. Her cervix evidently is better now than it was before she was even on bedrest. She's still on bedrest, but just being home is always more comfortable. And hopefully she gets to stay there until she has her baby!

Last night, we went to a Project Revolution concert, and it pretty much sucked. I think we were spoiled on the awesomeness of the X-Fest a few years ago when we saw Fireflight. Seventh Day Slumber played last night, and we just got the vibe that they were just doing it because they were getting paid, and we couldn't enjoy it. It was too much of a "show", and they didn't even seem to be enjoying themselves. So after flirting with heat exhaustion, we hit Wendy's and went home. I'm still not feeling so great, and my lower back is still killing me. And Mischa has a slight fever, and we're not sure if it's from last night's festivities (the kid never sat still!), or if she picked something up. We missed church this morning because we slept through the alarm, and now it's looking like we'll miss tonight since she has a fever and is cranky and clingy. At least I'll miss it. Dusty will probably go anyway. And that's fine. It sounds horrible, but I'm not up to it. There isn't any child care for the evening service, so I'd be fighting Mischa trying to keep her entertained and in our aisle.

Things are never easy.

A week ago yesterday, our dear friend Bryan passed away. His cancer had come back for the third time, and the doctors just couldn't do anything more for him. They gave him 4-6 weeks, and he made it to almost 4 weeks. He died at home with his family, which is good. He was only 21 years old. His viewing was Sunday, and his funeral was Monday. It's been a rough weekend. Thankfully, my parents were able to take Mischa, so I could just focus on what was going on. Not that I was particularly needed, Dusty tended to push me away and lean more on his friends (our friends), so I was left to my own grieving devices. I finally got him to spend time with me Monday night instead of going to be with his friends again. I'm not trying to keep him from being with friends, but Bryan was my friend too and it was like everyone had forgotten that. Dusty was gone from about 7pm Friday evening until 3 am, then left again Sunday evening and didn't get home until sometime after 1am. Then left almost first thing in the morning to meet his friends before the funeral. I had to hitch a ride with his mom, and didn't get much attention from him until after the funeral was over. I understand that he was a pallbearer, and they had been friends for quite a few years, but since Dusty and I have been married he's really been pushing that his friends are my friends, and they really have become my friends, then once one of them goes through something traumatic or dies, they're his friends again and what I'm feeling doesn't matter until he's gone through his dealing process.

Anyway, that's my verbal spew for the day. It's going to be a hard time for a while. We're all going to miss him. His birthday is August 3rd, and I'm pretty sure there's going to be something going on, which is going to be hard because then my Uncle Ronnie's birthday is August 6th and I'm sure there's going to be some sort of get-together for that too. So we're going to have to choose, and I'm sure it's going to be Bryan's. Which is fine, but I just realized Sunday how much I'm still missing my uncle.

One of our friends updated his status Monday, and what he said was so true: "Sometimes the greatest memories cause us the deepest pain." So very true.

Wow, I suck at this...

It's been three weeks, wow. But things have been busy, crazy, exhausting.

I am now 16 weeks, 3 days. Earlier this week I had some pains and slight cramping, followed by some spotting, so I've been taking it easy. Of course, I called my doctor's office, but (go figure) my doctor wasn't in the office that day, and his nurse wouldn't answer her page. So the nurse I talked to had no idea of my medical history. I was told to drink two glasses of water and lay on my left side for 15 minutes. It worked for a while. Then yesterday I started having the pains again, so I have been taking it super easy to avoid bleeding again. I have my monthly appointment with my doctor tomorrow at 1, and I'll be asking him about it. I've really been trying to stay hydrated, but water gives me heartburn and makes me nauseous, and milk really makes me feel sick. I don't want to drink lots of juice or pop because of the sugar, so I'm kind of at a loss of what to do. But I'm doing my best. I also have an orange in the fridge that's been calling my name... but that requires cutting it up lol.

I was going to try to put myself on bedrest until my appointment tomorrow, but I have a two-year-old, so that's impossible. So I've vowed to take it super easy today, not do any house work, just sit and relax. I even had Dusty go get some groceries early so I wouldn't have much to do today as far as preparing lunch (yay Lunchables!). But now my dining room is glaring at me, and I'm disgusted at my living space. Maybe we'll get to that this weekend. We'll see. I'm just glad that some of the laundry on the loveseat has been folded and put away, so half of it is usable again! Slowly but surely, we'll reclaiming the house from my first trimester nausea catastrophe.

Three weeks from tomorrow we have our anatomy ultrasound and find out what we're having. We're hoping for a boy, and it's really felt like a boy this whole time, but we still have a 50% chance of it being a girl as well. I'll be thrilled either way :)

Lots of prayers go up for my SIL. She's on hospital bedrest for cervical insufficiency. She's 24 weeks, 4 days with baby Evelyn Mae. You can read her blog about her high-risk pregnancy at babybrewer-evie-mae.blogspot.com .

Mischa is so obsessed with the babies, and she's so worried about them not having binkies (blankets), that she's demanded I make them blankets! And since Evie is coming first, she says I need to make hers first. She wanted it to be green, like hers, but I grabbed pink to go with it. The blanket looks like lime and strawberry sherbet lol. But it's pretty cute and Mischa says it's so soft and will keep her warm and dry :). Our baby's blanket will be yellow she says. I'm using different stitches for the blankets, so that works. I'm using the Larkspur stitch for Evie's, so it's easier to switch colors, but I'll be using the puff stitch for ours, so I'll probably just stick with the one color.

I have been feeling the baby move around more, and definitely getting more kicks lately. But then there are some days where I don't feel him/her moving much at all through the day, and it honestly freaks me out. I know it's too early to be feeling regular movement, but I guess I'm in the mentality that since I've felt it, I need to feel it all the time. It's funny how the baby already recognizes things and has his/her own schedule already. Once Dusty gets home from work, it's guaranteed that I'll feel lots of squirming (Daddy's boy/girl already!), and once I crawl in bed and get comfortable and night, then the goober does its acrobats. But thankfully that only lasts for a little while, then we can both go to sleep.

Tomorrow they'll just be checking the heartbeat (which is always amazing to me :), checking on me (I'll be asking about the pains!), and I get to do bloodwork. Yay. I don't quite remember everything they're testing for tomorrow, but I know one thing is Down Syndrome, which I've never been worried about. It'll be nice to have a heads up, but we'll love our baby no matter what.